I feel like I've been run over by a truck

Better yet, an entourage of trucks. And then they drove over me again just for kicks.

The past few months have been emotionally draining on me, to say the very least. But I was somehow able to pull it together, get my application turned in, and I felt good towards the world.

Then the last couple of weeks hit. Financial chaos. My dad loses his job. Dr. D began his surgery rotation. The Spirit yelled at me. I got massively ill for no good reason. And to top it all off, I came home today to a letter from the Ohio State University telling me....

I didn't get in.

No, this is not some sadistic joke. If it is, no one's told me the punch line yet. After dropping everything, packing up and moving, becoming a resident of Ohio, taking the GRE, and dealing with Buckeyes, I didn't get into the master's program at OSU.

Right now, I'm just at a loss. I'm completely confused, hurt, and dishevelled. My emotional arsenal is completely empty right now. Most of this week was spent in tears as it was, and now this. There are so many options still available to me, but none of them make sense at the moment.

Despite my lamentations over my move here, a constant consolation for me this evening has been the knowledge that I did the right thing. For some reason utterly unbeknownst to me, I am supposed to be living in Columbus, Ohio. So, here I'll stay. I am grateful for my faith, for the knowledge I have of a loving Father in Heaven. Luckily, He has a much better sense of what's going on than I do. I am also fortunate to know how much He loves me and how much faith He has in me.

How can I say this as I've just been rejected from graduate school?

Easy. Life was meant to be a test, to push us to our limits to teach us to reach our potential. Heavenly Father is throwing a torrent at me and I am near what I believe to be my breaking point. But He sees my potential and for some reason it requires these tests.

So, I'll cry. Lament the opportunity to go back to school this fall. And I'll pray. And I will continue to search out a way into school. The bridge might be out, but I have the tools and resources to make the repairs and cross the river. Faith. Family. Hope. Love.