moving on

We just spent our third Sunday in our new home.  I can't believe that much time has passed already.  Mr. F and I joke that it still feels a bit like we're in a vacation rental and that we'll have to go back to real life soon.  

The first week was a blur of projects, fun, and family.  The weekend of the move, Mr. F's parents drove in from Florida to assist in everything.  His mom ended up staying the better part of a week, helping me when Mr. F went back to work.  We painted rooms, loaded bookshelves, made Ikea runs, and generally staged the new space.  She left and my parents came in time for our anniversary and Easter.  Yet again, loving parents were hard at work hanging shelves, artwork, and painting the nursery.  I look at what is now our home and smile.  Already it is full of memories of family and love.

There has been a noticeable change in our attitudes since the move, an extreme sense of peace and contentment.  These new walls have enveloped us in a safe haven, creating an environment where we can dream and plan for the days and months to come.  Prior to the move, our time together was edgy, laced with worry and fatigue.  Now?  It is joyous.  We both get excited to come home and bask in the light-filled rooms.

Some of our favorite features of the townhouse include the deck (which is being replaced, but look forward to urban garden ideas!), the space, the neighbors, the light.  We have, for the first time ever, luxuries like a garbage disposal, microwave, and ice machine, not to mention the addition of a washer and dryer.  As a lover of laundry, it has been a serious challenge for me the past few years to go without an in-unit washing machine.  I now wash everything in sight, whenever, just because I can.

Out of our bedroom window are the most delicious trees. Not just one or two.  A veritable forest, the likes of which only Atlanta could provide in such an urban environment.  There is quiet here.  Calm.  Light.  Peace.  Space.  Home...

In the evenings, we now curl up in bed and feel our little girl doing the macarena inside of me.  We talk to her and of her.  In the morning, she is still, but I am greeted by the light of dawn pouring in through her little nursery window.  It effuses the hallway with light and joy.

Things are still in flux, and probably always will be, but we very much so are feeling like we're at a point where we can be still and just enjoy our home.  I'm slowly getting back to work, catching up on etsy orders and beginning to paint again.  So even though we feel like we're still on vacation, real life is seeping in and it never looked so good.

decorating thoughts

As I plod away at unearthing our little apartment and making it our own, I'm learning a lot about my decorating style.  If you follow me on Pinterest, you may have noticed that my pins follow a consistent theme.  White walls, industrial elements, a touch of eclectic, and even more white.  As much as I still yearn for a wide open space with huge windows and hundred year-old pine plank floors, I'm finding my taste in real life...and in this apartment...is different than what I expected from my Pinterest searching.

Here's what I'm learning:

Color is a good thing.   I love pops of it in bold, rustic rag rugs, fresh flowers, throw pillows, and art.  I'm even craving some different color on the walls to help reflect light and give dimension to the space.  But I really love blue.  Cobalt blue.  My Swedish ancestors are dancing jigs over that last revelation.

I like whimsical art and more serious furniture.  I like my art to be happy, bright, and meaningful to me.  I get nervous hanging up my own creations.  Don't ask.

Upgrades don't make a home beautiful.

My pottery collection makes no sense with my obsession with white dishes.  None.  But I'll take them over plain, white dishes from Home Goods any day.

Silver pieces are absolutely beautiful.  Silver frames, vessels, serving pieces, lamps..the more silver, the better.  I am loving the way light bounces off of silver like it would a mirror and creates space and more light.

I have an affinity for tribal/Western American motifs, especially when it comes to baskets and rugs.  I keep looking at classic Persian rugs thinking they're a great idea, but they just don't speak enough to me to pull the trigger.

I have no idea how to style with lamps.  Or what lamps to use.  Or how big lamps should be.  Lamps scare me.  And rugs.  They seem like serious commitments.

My furniture needs clean lines while my accessories need to be frilly.  For example, I made this bench (which is probably going to collapse at any moment...) with some spindle legs.  I thought I would adore this bench once it was assembled.  Truth be told, I'm waiting for it to fall apart so I can go in search of a long Parson bench to replace it.  No fuss, no muss.  But then I want to top it with a smattering of pillows in every color and pattern imaginable.  Go figure that one out...

There are still things to buy.  A dining table of some sort, lighting, shelving for the kitchen (oh...the kitchen...).  But I'm willing to wait and to save up for quality items.  I don't want to get something just because it's on sale or because I think I need it RIGHT NOW.  I want pieces that really speak to me and are actually going to last.  Pieces that are worth the wait and worth hunting for.

Fresh flowers are essential.  Absolutely essential.  In every room.  Even the bathroom.

Less is more.  The more I decorate, the more I donate things that have no sentimental meaning to me and are just taking up space.  I want breathing room .  Expanses of wall with nothing on them, clear surfaces without  knick knacks.  Whatever we have, I want it to serve a purpose. Our apartment is too tiny to justify objects that don't fill a need.

moving in!

I write this on the day we found out we were leaving Cyprus, exactly a year ago.  If you have seen that year, I'd really like to know where it's gone!  I was working all last week and through the weekend, so Mr. F moved us in with the help of some friends from church.  Though I had seen a similar unit, I had not seen our new home until Sunday evening after Mr. F picked me up.  We dropped off a few more boxes and I took in my surroundings.  It instantly felt so different from the unit I had seen due to the chaos and I initially panicked.  But now?  Now I'm loving it!

I've been spending the week trying to dig through boxes that have been packed for a year at the minimum.  Weeding through memories and making sense of the chaos has been my agenda.  Slowly, but surely, things are coming together.

This post should really be titled, "Hey robbers!  Want a detailed inventory of everything I own? Here ya go!" because of the number of pictures.  As I keep finding treasures new (apparently we had a floor lamp hidden in our long-term storage) and old (family heirloom tea kettle), I want to document it all.  There have been moments of tears, especially as I opened my handmade baskets from Cyprus and sewing materials belonging to my Nana.  Memories I cherish have been waiting for me in these boxes, just waiting to be found again.

Included in this scavenger hunts were a plethora of llama rugs from Mr. F's time in Peru (finally figured out what to do with those!!) and his childhood boy scout uniform.  It reminded me of how much I still have to learn about my husband and how grateful I am for our time together.

Believe it or not, this is some SERIOUS progress!  By this point I could not only see the floor but the far wall AND I was able to move the sofa around.

The apartment is small, but just what we need.  For the first time we have an en suite bathroom, which feels rather glamorous, even if the finishes are not.  The kitchen is small, but functional, with a new stove (that can hold a turkey!) and new fridge.  It's been freshly painted and there are new carpets coverings the living and bed rooms.

I'm not going to lie, the closet is turning into one of my favorite spots in the flat.  Not because I have a lot of clothes (though I'm sure I have more than I need..) but because it has these glorious hardwood floors!  I'm sure those hardwoods are running throughout the apartment and were it not for the new carpet, I would be asking to rip everything up and bask in the wood.  On top of that, the closet is huge and is going to offer some much needed storage potential to our new home.

We have yet to spend a night in our new home.  Crazy, right?  But a blessing also.  The kitchen is totally bombarded with boxes still and our mattress rests against the wall as I search for our sheets. I know we have sheets, I just don't know what box they are in... It's like a grown-up version of "Where's Waldo?"

The living room is starting to come together, much to the chagrin of our tiny dining nook.  I have big plans for this tiny apartment.  The first of which is throwing out empty boxes and making a drop at Goodwill.  We've got some serious shelving operations going on to meet some much needed storage demands.  Lighting options, maybe a hand-painted drop cloth rug or two, and there might even be paint on the walls..still deciding on that one.  What do you think?  What colors would you use?  There's definitely some furniture overhauling to be done and the task of kitchen storage...oh, the kitchen storage.  That one is going to take some serious imagination.

If you're as riveted by this journey as I am, be sure to follow along on Instagram (@seewhatiseablog).  I'm posting pretty regularly when I'm at the apartment.

my father dwelt in a tent

Mr. F and I have been crazy focused on our finances since our move to Atlanta.  Not that we've ever been bad at spending our money, we just haven't been as good at it as we could have been.  In Cyprus, we were totally strapped.  People thought we were crazy and joking, but we weren't.  It took some serious ingenuity and lots of homemade everything to keep us in the black.  Mr. F's new job is offering us some very welcome financial security after a year of unemployment and a couple hard years of scraping by.  We thought when we got here, we would want to live in a nicer place.  More amenities, closer to the center, nice appliances, etc., etc.  We've earned it. We told ourselves.  So we looked.  And looked.  And looked.  And ya know what?  We really weren't happy with what we were seeing.

No, that's not true.  We loved some of the options.  Downtown high rise with views of the sunset that made my the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end.  Or the darling one-bedroom with a sunroom and a view of the trees just outside the Perimeter.  Those were the homes of daydreams.  They technically fit inside of our budget and met the qualifications for the lifestyle we thought we were after, but something was wanting.  We weren't willing to spend as much as the landlords were asking.

One afternoon when I was in the city running errands, I got horribly lost and end up driving past an apartment complex that listed vacancies.  It was nothing special.  In fact, I was initially embarrassed pulling into the parking lot.  What would people think of me pulling in here with my nice Volkswagen? Vanity, thy name is foolish.  I stepped into the leasing office and made some inquiries.  The rent was well below our set budget and the availability seemed promising.  A few days later, Mr. F and I went back to check out a one-bedroom. 

For the first time in our house hunt, we agreed on an apartment.  It felt like home.  And the strange thing is, it met very few of the qualifications we thought were so important to us.  It's only a one-bedroom.  Itty bitty kitchen.  Wall unit AC, not central.  No washer/dryer hook-ups.  Carpet, not hardwoods.  No gym.  No brunch for tenants on Sunday morning.  But it had a great price. Great layout.  And a great feel.

A few weeks ago, I was reading in the scriptures and pondering over our quest to be more financially savvy and the, as we called it, Rat's Nest apartment.  In 1 Nephi in the Book of Mormon, Nephi tells us that he and his brothers followed their father, Lehi into the wilderness surrounding Jerusalem.  Lehi was the prophet and under the guidance of the Lord had taken his family outside the city walls to protect them and to preserve the fullness of the Gospel.  In 2:15 I read, "And my father dwelt in a tent."  That's it.  The whole verse.  And it hit me with the force of the lengthiest sermon.  If a prophet could leave his home and live in a tent, you sure as heck can live in the Rat's Nest for a year or so.  It was true.  I could.  From my religious upbringing I have learned the value of self-reliance and the importance of living within your means.  The Lord told Lehi to live in a tent.  He is asking us to live more frugally.

And so now, we're moving to the Rat's Nest.  I'm not sure we will ever call it anything else.  No, there weren't really rats.  I am so excited about this move, I can't even tell you!  We both are!  To be saving so much money, to be living in closer proximity to both of our jobs.  Our church community will be incredibly diverse, as will our neighborhood.  We will be doing what God asks of us so that we can be ready for the future, not just the right now.  And that is worth so much more than protecting my precious vanity.

dollar bin spice rack

I think I'm developing a serious case of Target Dollar Bin Addiction.  We may need an intervention sometime soon.  It's getting scary.  Almost nearly as scary as how often I'm at Target.  (Ahem, Target?  I'll gladly take a sponsor here! Hint, hint!) Well, on one of my most recent trips, I took a break from the cute Valentine's Day garlands and found these plastic containers.  They were tucked in with bathroom items and I'm sure were intended for toiletries of some sort.  For me, they looked like the perfect solution for my spice collection.

If you follow me on Instagram, you'll remember this pile of AWESOMENESS from a trip to WinCo. in October.  Yes, I still have all of them. Yes I carried them from Oregon to Utah, loaded them on a plane to Florida, then schlepped them up to Georgia.  People, they've needed a home just as badly as me!  If you live near a WinCo, go buy your spices there.  Seriously.  I got about 20 different spices and flours for around $25.  So go!  And if you do go, call me...I might need you to mail me stuff.  Please?  I'll trade you notecards!

Anyway, enough with the groveling... The containers are about the size of a compact, not huge, but perfect for my purposes.  Even better they came in packages of three for $1.  I've been hunting for spice jars, knowing full well that I want them to match but not wanting to spend a fortune on them.  $1 for three?  That's a no-brainer.  There were also some square containers, which I picked up as well.  

I brought them home and used labels I've been hoarding from a previous raid on the Dollar Bin.  (I knew they'd come in handy!!)   With a pencil I wrote the names of the respective spices and just like that, I had a cohesive collection with a much smaller footprint.

The project cost me about $10 for all of the containers (I bought extra) and the labels.  I love the way they look and can't wait to start using them!  Now I just need to find my pots and pans in one of these boxes...  Until then, happy organizing!

for more dollar bin finds, check out the heart garland I used here, or the trees from December's Holiday Show here.  I told you, I have a problem...

blessings

photos by me, taken just north of the wall in Old Nicosia

Good news!  Mr. F and I found an apartment!  We will be moving into town (that makes me sound so provincial) in the next week or so and starting anew.  With the news of our House of Dreams on the horizon, we were both taken aback by the fact that it's been almost exactly a year since we left Cyprus.

Since most of our belongings are still in boxes, I have been using the time I should be devoting to packing to reading through journal and blog entries from our final days in our island home.  The heartbreak of leaving was so raw, the anxiety of the uncertain still palpable.  But I also caught sense of the hope that derives from coming home.

While in Cyprus, our daily interaction put us in contact with Filipinos, Syrians, the Lebanese, Indians (dot, not feather), Chinese, Pakistani, Greeks, Germans, Georgians, the English, Dutch, Scottish, Portuguese, Israeli, Turkish, Egyptian, Nigerians, Romanians, and more.  And no, this is not an exaggeration.  In fact many of these nationalities were from our church congregation alone.   Many of these people came to Cyprus from the far east, seeking a European education and decent employment.  Cyprus was a hope of moving further into Europe and stable life.

We listened to our friends tell of their personal experiences as wartime refugees, fleeing from Northern Cyprus to the south in 1974.  Escaping from Syria and Egypt.  Personal experiences of the ever recurring wars between Israel and Lebanon.  

We heard of mothers, barely older than myself, who had left their children behind so they could take a job half a world away to work as a maid, little more than an indentured servant, so they could make more money to provide for their children.  Children who would scarcely know the sacrifices their mothers made on their behalf.

We met Africans who moved to Northern Cyprus with the promise of education but were denied practicing their faith because they were unable to cross the border to attend worship services.

We listened to stories of grandparents who had lost their ancestral homes during WWII because their heritage did not match newly formed geographic boundaries.

We were asked by countless Eastern Europeans working as waiters in tourist trap restaurants why we were in Cyprus and not in America.  They never believed us that we could not find a job in the States.  Never.

I read an article recently, speaking of poverty in a Christian context.  The author explained how so often she thought that she had been blessed financially because God blesses those who work hard.  While she found this to be true, as she traveled the world and encountered poverty head on, she realized, much like I did, that hard work does not always guarantee financial success.  Birth, education, and location still offer promises of success in a modern age of online universities and jet engines.

The article resonated so much with me as I thought of our experience in Cyprus.  The struggles our friends faced daily.  Threats of deportation, starvation, unemployment, illiteracy, limited education, crippling working conditions, and so on.  I thought of the benefits I enjoyed purely by being a white, American woman and the opportunities that allowed me.  

Mr. F and I made jokes often that our American passport was akin to Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket.  We were seldom detained in customs checkpoints.  We were allowed to cross borders freely that were denied to many.  And perhaps, most amazingly, we were allowed to come home.  To the U.S.  Where little bungalows with white picket fences are still the ideal and the promise of work and decent wages for the willing bring people from all over the world.

Our new home is far from being a palace.  In fact, we chose the cheapest place we could find in the hopes of saving more for the future.  Not just money, but resources.  This new home will allow us to serve more, work more, and even play more.  It is going to be a humble home, but daggum am I grateful for it and excited to make it our own.  I am so grateful that Mr. F lost his job a year ago and we've had this year to work together.  I miss Cyprus brutally sometimes.  I find myself longing to lemon trees outside my window and the smell of the salty Mediterranean in the air.  But I am so grateful to be where we are now and to have the opportunities afforded to us.  I hope that we will make the most of them and make our friends who are so limited by their circumstances proud of us for living up to our own potential.

change of plans

I had this great post planned, doing house tours of the places we've been visiting and planning to rent.  Yesterday we put in an application on this darling little flat.  It was a no.  I loved this apartment from the second I walked into it.   I've been imagining furniture layouts and color schemes.  All sorts of hopes and dreams were riding on this apartment.  But we didn't get it. 

I could go into why we didn't and be all upset, but really, there's no need.  Yes, that apartment was amazing, but if it didn't work, it didn't work.  The peace I feel in this turn of events is astonishing.  The heavens are opening up and saying, "Be still, Little One."  Financial stress about trying to get into an apartment the week before Thanksgiving is gone.  Worry?  Gone.  For some reason, even though we still don't know where our permanent home will be, more decisions have been made and The Fates have aligned things beautifully.

So, someday I'll have a fun house hunter post for you.  With a giveaway attached to it.  Today, however, is not that day.  Today I find myself full of such hope and dreaming more luscious dreams than I have in ages.  It's not logical, but that's why it just makes sense. 

cyprus vs atlanta

This move just begged for a comparison!  Since we've been married, we have moved a LOT and almost all of the moves have been major.  While this one should be intimidating, it's really feeling like a cake walk.  Sure, we're having a few struggles, but nothing to what we've experienced before.  I'm sure this is the last time a move will feel so manageable and we're enjoying it while we can!  

 I could seriously go on and on and on about why this feels so easy, but I'll leave it at that.  I think the hardest aspects of this transition so far have been the house hunt and buying a car.  We're still scoping out a future abode, but the urgency to get settled is so much less than what we have experienced in the past. 

Have you ever made a big move? How did you handle it?  I'd love to hear some of your experiences!

first week

Thus ends our first week here and I do not have the words to describe it adequately. The peace we feel in Atlanta is overwhelming. We are surrounded by family and new friends and it is just so good.  In just over two years of marriage we have moved more times than I can count anymore.  This, by far, has been the easiest and the most joyful.  There is so much hope surrounding everything happening to us right now!

Mr. F started work a mere two days after our arrival and was as happy as a schoolboy.  He still is.  He is so giddy to be working again!  Each day I drive him to the train station and pick him up in the afternoon.  It's a long commute for both of us, but so worth those smiles.

Aside from my husband's unabashed joy, we are delighting in family.  We're staying with family while we search for a house closer to town and it's just awesome.  I am so grateful for this situation for more reasons than I can even explain.  On top of that, one of my mom's cousins who I haven't seen in a decade lives here with her husband and five children.  Guys, this family is awesome.  You walk into their home and never want to leave again because of the amount of love you feel.  It's two days since I've seen them and I'm still smiling and can't wait for future adventures!

Life here, my friends, is very good. 

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Sooo....remember that time we went to Atlanta for an interview?  Way back in the summer?  Well, Mr. F didn't get that job.  But the company liked him enough that they asked him to try for another position.  This led to a Skype interview and Mr. F flying up to Atlanta for another interview the day before I flew to Utah for The Stud's wedding.  It was chaos.  Good chaos.  We didn't hear anything from the company the entire time I was gone.  And that was a long time people!  Mr. F interviewed with other companies and those options fell through before hearing back from the Atlanta job.  The Friday after my return, Mr. F got an email offering him a position.  A good position.  Like, the kind of job we've been praying for and hoping for.  That was a week and a half ago.  Since then, we've been making hurried plans to venture north into the heart of the South.  This has included purchasing a car (which should be finalized today!), finding a place to stay, and getting contracts signed.  Until the latter happened, both of us were hesitant to share any news.  We didn't want to jinx anything.  But now?  Now I'm telling you all!  

MR. F GOT A JOB!!!!!  AND WE'RE MOVING TO ATLANTA!!!

One of these days I'm going to put up a side-by-side comparison of this move to our move to Cyprus.  It's laughable how not stressed we both are over all of this.  That said, I do need to get a few things  packed and sorted still since we're leaving, oh, on Saturday.  No big!  Just a whole lot of happy going on!  

I wanted to thank everyone for your prayers, notes, and love through these last eight months.  I know employment is not a magic cure-all, but the piece of mind that comes from this change is overwhelming to us both.  We absolutely could not have made it without you faithful friends and family who still read this little blog even though we're not globe-trotting anymore.  You have aided us in more ways than I can ever express and I am deeply, deeply grateful for you!


p.s. we found out that Jeni's Ice Cream is opening a shop in Atlanta right NOW!  personally, I think it's a sign that we're supposed to move.  Jeni's AND Braves baseball?!  bring it on!!

florida

My days are so much fuller now!  I say this to myself with a laugh as I compare my present existence to life in Cyprus.  I laugh because in Cyprus we had a home to care for, errands, friends, church responsibilities, a small business...a life.  Here?  Here I neglect laundry and await the arrival of the Slow Boat to China. But Here we have options.  Here we have convenience and four-lane highways.  Drive-thru ATMs and 24-hour Wal-Marts.  In reality, Here we have family.  I tag along with Dr. Mom as she takes David to work three times a week and listen as she prepares her lessons for church.  We have dinner plans, lunch plans, and plans for plans.  We run errands together, Mr. F and I escape to the beach for a few minutes, the dog eats something else, I paint for a few hours and then suddenly the day is done.  Not just done, but it's ten at night and I'm still awake and considering a Wal-Mart run just because I can.  

Right before we left Cyprus, an American friend of mine commented on how much more at ease she felt when in the U.S. compared to being abroad.  I didn't understand what she meant initially, but I think I do now.  Living abroad is stressful in its very nature.  Home, where ever it is, will always be easier on the system.  Florida is not where I imagined being.  It's not where I grew up or had family connections, but it is in America.  It's Here.  Home.  And that in and of itself gives me the liberty to feel at ease and tackle things I've been daydreaming of for months.  There's no huge rush, on my part at least, for Mr. F to find a job.  I feel content and very grateful for this time to assimilate all over again into my native culture.  Here my days really are more full.

thankful thursday: friends

While Mr. F and I were waiting at the Frankfurt airport, noshing on brotchen and delicious brie sandwiches, we started talking about what was happening.  Where we were going, where we had been, and we realized how quickly move of ours took place. From layoff to to take off was two weeks and two days.  Two weeks!  What had felt like an eternity to us as we were waiting for information to come in was really a blick of an eye.  A nanosecond in which, somehow, we packed up our whole lives in Cyprus and returned home.

The incredible success of our whirlwind move is due in large part to the help of our friends.  The packed boxes, fed us, gave us places to stay, listened to all of our concerns, and helped us sort out the nitty gritties.  A few nights before we left, we were able to say goodbye to a few of these wonderful people at an impromptu party.  With just a day's notice, a houseful of friends came by to wish us luck and exchange a few last hugs.  I was overwhelmed by how many people came, not realizing before the deep roots we had planted in Cyprus.

Friendship is an amazing thing as an expat.  It's not just friendship, it's family.  Your support system, playmates, confidantes, and allies, friends are what make your experience abroad into something more than pictures of ruins.  I have learned so much from these friendships and will carry them with me where ever life takes me next.

transitioning

I never thought I would be so proud of sleeping in till five.  Yes, five, my friends, is sleeping in.  Nor did I ever think I would get so excited over the poultry aisle at the supermarket or gas being $3.85 a gallon.  Being able to say, "Good morning," rather than "Kalimera!"  Not needing google translate to work with the bank teller.  Flushing toilet paper down the drain, not waiting an hour for water to heat up so I can take a shower.  I never expected any of these things to be so exciting.  But then again, I never thought I would spend the first two years of marriage as an expat, let alone have the opportunity to live in Cyprus. 

Before the move, I was waking up well before five.  I would drag my exhausted body out to the sofa and curl up to watch the colors of the sky shift from dark shadow to a golden translucence. Those early hours were for me and me alone.  I find myself embracing a similar pattern now that we are Stateside again.  Long before dawn, I gingerly climb out of bed and claim one of the sofas in the house.  I rifle through emails still sailing in from the other side of the world and then just listen. 

 These hours before anyone else is awake is my chance to process, well, everything.  Loss of home, loss of stability, change of location, loss of friends, lifestyle, addition of family, change in climate...on and on the list goes.  Before we left, my sole focus was on getting us home, now that we're here, I'm forced to face the looming questions.  What next?  Where do we go next?  What do I do next?  Where do we live?  Who do we interact with?  What now?  This morning as I write, I realize for the first time that I don't need to have the answers to these questions. Not yet.  I can muddle through a little longer and take things on a day at a time.  We're only four days into this new adventure.  Now is the time for an open mind, a hopeful heart, and a lot of faith.

things I'm secretly going to miss

Mr. F and I have been consoling ourselves this last week by delighting over things waiting for us back in the States.  McDonald's breakfast, Target, clothes that fit us, bookstores, Jeni's Ice Cream, slurpees, Costco...okay, so it's mainly food related, but you get the idea.  This little technique has worked well enough that I'm now just getting anxious to go home.  I'm ready to hug family and have mail reach them within the week.

I've also been pondering what I will miss about Cyprus.  As crazy as it might sound, one of the things I most lament is that I won't be on the opposite side of the world anymore.  I liked waking up on November 7th and listening to live news coverage as election results came in rather than staying up through the night.  I love phone calls at eight in the morning from my brother because he knows I'm the only one awake and just has to talk to someone about his awesome date.  Emails from my mom when she can't sleep.  It sounds so strange, but being so far away has enabled me to be available for friends and family who might otherwise not have had anyone.

Then there's fruit trees and walking across the border.  An abundance of dried fruit, halloumi, Greek...everything, church bells ringing in the morning and minarets sounding whenever they want.  Driving on the left, pita bread, bakeries everywhere...and so much more.

step 2

Well, we've officially moved into the "anger" portion of the grieving process.  After a few days of numbness, now we're just mad.  At unemployment, moving companies, limited resources, lack of time, exhaustion, not knowing what's coming next, a serious hitch to our plans.  We're just frustrated now.

Last night I went for a drive by myself.  Just long enough for me to scream into the heavens my fears through gasping sobs.  "I CAN'T DO THIS!" I yelled repeatedly, "I CAN'T! I don't know what I'm doing."  I don't.  I wake up in the morning, content for the two seconds before I realize my life has just been flipped upside down.   Then the rest of the day is spent in a haze of (usually) quiet grief and confusion.  "I'm trying to be faithful and understand Your plan for us right now but I don't know what I'm doing..."  I screamed and cried until my vision was so blurry from a blinding headache that I had to go home.  No more tears that night.  

I'm so overwhelmed right now.  I get emails all day long, from people wanting to buy Peggy Sue, family wanting to know plans, friends wanting to help.  I'm sending out emails to moving companies, trying to figure out how to get our stuff home "affordably" and quickly.

All I want to do is lay on the sofa.

Tomorrow is Monday.  Hopefully we will have more answers as we hear back from more moving companies.  Hopefully we can set a date for departure.  Hopefully...tomorrow...

But today?  I'm still just mad.

siga, siga

There's a phrase in Greek, one of the few that I've picked up, that I really love.  Siga, siga, people will say.    Siga, siga.  It means slowly, slowly and is exactly how I feel about the progress of our little apartment.  Day by day it looks more put together and feels more like home.  Were it not for the generosity of friends and family, we would not be as far along as we are now.  One friend gave me a new desk, which freed up my old one to be our table.  Then some other friends gave us three of their old chairs, which are absolutely perfect.  Then there's the armchair that needs some refinishing that my friend dumpster dived for, and last,  but definitely not least, the sofa, lovingly paid for by Mr. F's Nana.  

I cannot begin to express how big of an upgrade this apartment is for us.  Our former flat fits snugly into the living room and kitchen of our new home.  Then we still have two bedrooms and a spacious bathroom.  The fact I can leave my ironing board up and not trip over it still confuses me.  And can I just say that my little ironing nook is quickly turning into one of my favorite spaces in the apartment?  It's placed in front of the window where I can look over the hill behind our building.  There's the most wonderful breeze that comes rolling in that window.  If I had an old radio playing classical music and talk radio, I'd really be set.  But for now, this little nook is about as good as it gets for a girl who really loves to iron.

the florescent light in the bathroom

photo by clark goldsberry photography

I remember going to visit my Nana as a child.  Her house was large and rambling, the result of an ever-growing number of boys and a very talented carpenter for a husband.  Whenever we would visit, we would use my Nana's "master" bathroom.  It was tiny, but two of the walls were covered with mirrors.  I have so many memories of being a little girl and trying to find "forever" in the expanse of the mirrors' reflections.  While I hunted for eternity, the only noise I could hear was the soft hum of a florescent lamp in the ceiling.  

That was a sound I didn't remember until the other day when I flipped on the overhead light in our new bathroom.  There again was that hum.  Soft, but so distinct.  It was a sound that should not have been so comforting, especially since I didn't realize how lodged into my memory it was.  I like hearing it though.  I catch myself flipping it on from time to time when I home alone.  In the buzz of the bulb I can hear my Nana's sewing machine, hear the sound of uncles climbing the wood stairs, and the laughter of family playing a raucous match of killer uno.  I like those sounds and the memories connected with them.  

All because I turned on the light in the bathroom...

nesting

Slowly but surely our home is coming together.  I feel like it's taking me forever because I can't just put things away, I have to find the perfect spot.  This process is compounded by our hefty lot of food storage which we moved over with us.  Some might look at it and think I'm a crazy coupon lady, but to me it is a comfort and a blessing and my way of feeding our little family in really rough spot.  This food storage somehow fit into our itty, bitty, teensy, weensy apartment thanks to an abundance of plastic storage bins stacked awkwardly throughout.  Now that we have more space, I am bound and determined that those bins will not be used.  Everything will have a place in a cupboard or basket, so help me!  But since we can't afford more furniture at the moment, it's still a work in progress and the bins are still scattered throughout my living room.

Speaking of furniture, we bought our first bed over the weekend!  We spent our first night in the new place on Friday and didn't have the best night's sleep on our little air mattress.  Our day was filled with a lot of cleaning, church responsibilities, and just a whole lot of other stuff on Saturday.  By the time we were "free" and we had a returned deposit check in our hands, Mr. F was convinced that we would be buying a mattress then and there.

Sure enough, we went to Ikea for dinner and left with a mattress.  Sort of.  See, the bed we liked wasn't in stock in a queen size.  Mr. F being extremely exhausted and even more in love with this bed was not willing to wait the month it would take for the desired mattress to make its way to the Cyprus store.  So he bought the king size.  Which he was convinced he could strap to the top of our little Mazda and take home and sleep on that night.  To say it was too big is an understatement.  I laughed and let my sweet, sleep deprived husband come to that realization on this own before I went back in the store to see if they could deliver the mattress to us.  They could, for cheap, and we'd have it on Monday.  Done, done, and done.  

Now we have a mattress, some shelves, and that's about it!  But I'm really loving it.  This little home of ours is going to take awhile to put together.  We can't afford all the furniture we'd really like, let alone stuff that would be really handy right now, but that's okay.  We have a beautiful apartment and thanks to our Father in Heaven, our meager finances are stretching far enough to take care of all the extra expenses we're dealing with.  So as much as I would love a coffee table, I'm just so grateful to have a home that I can wait a little bit longer.

homesick

Coming back to Cyprus was not what I was planning it would be.  I thought I would just come back, pack up our little flat, move into the new one, and carry on with the life we've established here.  But it's not working that way. 

I have been more homesick in this last week than I have been the entire time we've been overseas.  So much more longing for family, familiar things, and company.  Thank GOODNESS for my wonderful friends here.  Not only have they helped us move most of our things, they've met me for chats, gone out running errands, and have just in general been there for me.  They are filling my days and heart with the companionship I had grown so accustomed to during my month at home.

To top it off, life is just coming at us right now.  When I thought about our move, I had planned on increased expenses for setting up utilities (deposits are more substantial when you are not a Cypriot national), furniture (we don't have a bed...), and take out while we transition.  In stead, my financial worries have been focused on endless car repairs, a new passport for Mr. F so we can renew our visas, fines for laws we didn't know about as non-Cypriots, and furniture.  (We still don't have a bed...)

And I'm having a hard time saying goodbye to this apartment.  I really am.  Not only is it our first home in Cyprus, it's our first home.  Before this, Mr. F and I lived with family and some rather gracious friends.  Our itty, bitty flat was the first place to truly be ours.  We keep getting delayed with the final move-in date for the new place.  When I'm there, I am so eager for the next steps we'll take together there.  But then we come back here and it's harder to go away again.

So right now it's just one of those times where I really love living overseas, but I'd be perfectly content having home be a little bit closer.  

just so you know...

We're moving!!!

Remember that sweet beyond sa-weet apartment we found awhile ago?  Well, we got it!  Now I'm stocking up on 3M hooks (how awesome are those things??) and new sheets while I am still in the States.  We move pretty quickly after I get back to Cyprus so Mr. F is doing some preliminary packing without me.  Know what I'm really excited about with this place?  We get to furnish it ourselves.  That means that we get to choose what kind of sofa we have or the look of the dining room table.  No comes-with-the-place furniture.  Just whatever we like (and can afford..).  For awhile we'll probably just have an empty floor in the living room.  But I gotta tell ya, I'm even excited for that.  Putting together a home one piece at a time.