fertility: mother's day

I quickly tossed clothes into my bag.  After a lovely dinner with Dr. Mom, Sista Bear, and Uncle David, my Floridian weekend was coming to a close and I needed to catch a plane.  Everything packed up, I went to the bathroom before leaving the house. I know, personal and kind of ewww, but stick with me.  My mind was so focused on carry-ons and seeing my cute husband again that I almost missed the small amount of blood on the toilet paper as I wiped.  I stared at it, wiped again and there was more blood.

My period had started!

I quickly allowed myself a few quiet tears of gratitude before composing myself and returning to the dinner table.  I needed to give some hugs and farewells first.  Then I could celebrate.  Goodbyes said, Dr. Mom, Sista, and I piled into the car and made our way to the airport.  We chatted a little and then it spilled out.

"Guys, I started my period!"  And then the three of us cried together, celebrating my body working, even if momentarily, as it should.  It was a perfect moment with family, surmounted only by the silent joy of Mr. F on the phone when I told him from the airport.  I could see his smile through the phone and felt more connected to him than ever before.  Who knew a period could bring so much celebration?

I go in next week for more tests and then hopefully a consultation for more decisive answers.  Right now, I feel like anything is possible.  For the first time in a year, my body is working, more or less.  For that, I am grateful.  For the hope this brings me that I might in fact be able to have children, a possibility that had been growing more faint, well...for this there are no words.  Just silent tears streaming from mirthful eyes.  A Mother's Day gift to me from my Father, a better gift I couldn't imagine!



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